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Brown Against the Machine
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It's my fourth anniversary of marriage, my first anniversary of my fantastic job, and the end of what has probably been the best year i've ever had. So much to be thankful for today!

This coming year I'm going to start my own podcast about religion, finish a few of the short stories i've got going, and start actively pursuing all those things i wish i had the patience to do. It's a bright day =)
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so 8 months or so after i got my job, they made me permanent, gave me a managerial position, doubled my salary, and we're now really looking hard at actually buying a house. my life is 180 degrees from where it was this time last year. incredible.
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guys. I'm employed again. I work for

It feels like i have purpose again. its such a wonderful fucking feeling i can't even explain.
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so this happened.

Turns out Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer are fucking great together.
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It's not about the signature. That's just ink on a page that will be put away and likely never looked at again, except to periodically show to interested parties. It's not about the swag, or the event, or the community.

It's about the handshake, the eye contact, and the ability to say thanks. Thanks for what you created that has given me pleasure and joy for however many years. Thanks for giving me something to read, to view, to talk about, to share with other people. Thanks for making yourself available to be thanked, when you could be creating.

The signature's just a memento of the occasion. The real prize is the meeting.

Yesterday I went to the Musee Mechanique in SF to watch a segment filming for Game Center CX, the Japanese show about retro games and arcades. It's an interesting old place, with lots of really creepy arcade machines from the 1880s on. The day was beautiful, and there were a ton of sailboats out in the bay, and i just camped out front to soak up some sunlight and wait.

Arino came soon enough, walking jauntily across the street in his traditional green suit, and saw me sitting out side, and called out Harro! I replied with a japanese string of welcomes and such, and suddenly there were cameras on me and we were conversating. He gave me his card, i showed him the english version of his game, and we took pictures. My japanese was terrifically bad, and it was a total pleasure to joke around anyway =)

Later inside we walked through as he looked at the old games and fortune tellers, and it was like watching an episode in real life, which i guess it was. Totally thrilling. Other fans were there, and played games with Arino, or were asked silly questions in pseudo english, and a great time was had by all.

It wasn't about the signature. It was about the meeting.
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a combination of pax and duels of the planeswalkers on xbox has gotten me interested in magic the gathering again for the first time in like 15 years. god help me if i fall down that slippery slope to card buying again! i've already bought a pair of preconstructed decks to play with my wife...

on the job front, i've had a bunch of interviews, but no call backs, which is an upgrade from no interviews at all. It was weird, though, going to pax and seeing all the booths of people i applied to and meeting the folks who beat me for those positions. oh well. If nothing else, i have solidified my desire to be on the community/PR side of the industry, and now just need to find out how to get there. This year i actually decided to start leveraging all of the friends i have in the industry, offering myself as an assistant level should they ever decide to grow their teams.

PAX was amazing. Meeting friends from the boards and from the industry just reminded me how much i miss being in the industry. I talked for a long time with shane, trying to figure out where i had gone wrong and what i could do to find my way again, and i went to a panel on resumes in the games industry. i owe it to myself and my wife to be serious about this if it really is going to be viable.

i started a new term of classes as well, with aims at getting a networking degree, so that i can go back to the blue collar grind of high tech. it's not sexy or fun, but it pays oh so much.

joblessness is hopelessness. it's taken over my life, and all of my conversations and energy. i talk to people about anything, and inevitably, my cynicism and anger at my situation comes through. it makes me a terrible person to be around these days =/

been performing a lot of weddings as a priest this summer, which has the dual benefit of paying and getting me out of the house. sadly, it's not full time, or else i totally would.

otherwise, life has been reduced to reading books and looking for work. at this point, i dont even know how i would react to actually having a job. when sega and EA called me for interviews twice in one week, i actually broke down and cried, because it was the best thing that had happened to me in so long that i didnt know how to deal with it. that both ended up not panning out was almost inevitable.
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somewhere in there i went from being a creator to a consumer, and that bums me right out.
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man, i've been averaging one taltos book every two days. I'd forgotten how good they were, and how easy it is to fly through them.

Also, Teckla is seriously the most depressing book, and i dont know what the fuck i was thinking reading it on my 11th anniversary.

--This past weekend was intense, fast paced, and a lot of fun. we went to a super fancy restaurant, stopped by fanime con, saw one of my favorite musicians in an ill-fated concert, had a picnic overlooking the golden gate, and just generally enjoyed each other's presence.

And then tuesday, it was arizmendi and board games in berkeley. enough to make a man wanna smile again.
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This weekend, I went to a farmer's market, saw a kick ass japanese film (13 assassins--totally recommended), and then went to a friend's house to play Mario Kart double dash with 8 TVs, 8 Gamecubes, and 20 something people.

It's pretty much the best weekend i've had in forever.

Otherwise, life is meh. I've written a chunk for an RPG as a freelance gig, read a lot of books, and cooked, but otherwise, i'm just spinning my wheels looking for work. You'd think having all this time off would be great, but man, it really isn't.
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what a useless year this has been. i wish i had a job.
User: talinthas
Name: ElektroTal
Back November 2012
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Ekam sat vipra bahauda vadanti.
There is one Truth, though sages describe it in different ways.